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Alex's WRITING Section!!!! You have been warned!

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Post by alexoblivion Mon Mar 22, 2010 1:57 am

This is mainly for me, but it is open to anyone else who enjoys writing stories of the awsome cool sort.
First, I feel that posting my stories as I progress will help me finish my stories, so here I am.
Second, I wouldn't mind seeing the opinion of others to my story(ies) that I write.
Third, I enjoy writing stories from time to time, so no, you can't escape.

Please give positive and negative feedback as deemed appropriate, but do not bash my, or other writer's stories with things such as, "That story is stupid...". Please criticize with a purpose, but above all, try to enjoy every story! (Corny? I know :p)
alexoblivion
alexoblivion
W.T.F!?
W.T.F!?

Male Number of posts : 149
Age : 34
Location : Grand Bay
Humor : Laugh dammit!
Registration date : 2008-12-25

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Post by alexoblivion Mon Mar 22, 2010 1:58 am

Unique
By Alexander Kittrell

Chapter 1

The light scolded my eyes as my eyelids separated for the first time, allowing the sunlight from a room side window to fill my vision. After a few moments of adjusting to the uncomfortable brightness which had eluded me for what seemed like ages, I took in the full depth of the medical room I’d found myself in. A pulse counter, with a velcro strap wrapped around my right arm, sat to the right side of my bed; a stand holding a sack of water stood on my left, with long tubes that ran down to two needles which penetrated my left forearm. Paper and dust lay still across the tiled floor, two cabinets along the wall opposite my bed were battered and rusted, their drawers extended and files barely kept within. The window which through a wave of light upon me was above these cabinets and pictures of the human anatomy (most likely for patients) circled it. Next, I examined my body, unsure as to why I would be held within a hospital and found only a small scar at the back of my shaved head. The scar itself was sore to the touch, but otherwise manageable. I removed the velcro strap from my arm, and it was tougher than I thought, as it slipped around the small width of my arm while I tugged at the strap. After finally removing the counter, I prepared myself for the seemingly necessary removal of the needles in my left, breathing in and out trying to put out the thought of the pain that would come.
I took another breath, and looked around the poor state of the room, and convinced myself that no one was here to remove them for me. As I gripped the base of the first needle closest to my elbow and pulled, it felt as if it was pulling the entirety of the inside of my arm with it. I tried not to look as I carefully pulled the last bit of the needle from the skin, leaving only blood bubbling from the remaining hole. As blood began to dribble from the first hole, I quickly started on the last one, a smaller IV needle latched to my wrist with medical tape. The pain from the first needle was becoming excruciating, and I desired nothing more than to get rid of the second and bandage the wounds. I swiftly pulled the tape from my wrist, as it in turn pulled hair from my arm, and then gripped the IV in same fashion as the first needle. I carefully drug the needle from my wrist and tossed it to the floor without a second thought. I looked around for bandages as blood dripped from my arm onto the bed, floor, and anything else beneath it. After a few moments of rustling through the contents of the room, I found a tourniquet role within a drawer behind the water stand.
I quickly wrapped the tourniquet role around my bleeding left forearm and severed the end with multiple tugs with my teeth, and finally sealed it with a bobby pin from the same drawer. All in all, the simple process of bandaging my arm took well over half an hour, leaving the bandage stained in red. It would have to do for now, I convinced myself as I returned my attention to the horrid room and what might await me outside. I slowly wobbled toward the door within the wall next to the cabinets, my legs quivering beneath me thanks to the lack of use, and slowly opened it. I peeked outside and into a hallway. Its state was similar to the room, papers carelessly strewn about, equipment scattered across the floor, and dust covering every object. I slowly walked down the east side of the hall as bright sunlight painted the walls at the end and the dust fluttering in the air. As I neared the end of the hall, I nearly slipped upon a dust covered newspaper, and had it not been for the wall based hand rail I probably would have fallen completely and ended back up in whatever kind of sleep I’d just woken up from. More importantly, an article on the page beneath the top read, “World . . . over,” the middle word covered by the corner of the cover page. I picked up the news paper and turned to the article. The title read, “The World is Over!” I continued to read the rest of the story, at least what was legible.
“Progressives have taken the government we knew and loved, created by our founding fathers, and they have twisted it into something akin to a dictatorship, something Hitler would be proud of! This ‘new, and safe’ government has ruled our lives for two years, and our existence only becomes more and more miserable. Now, with Neo America flaunting its power under leadership of ‘President’ John Tithson, Japan, Europe, and most of Asia, have begun to arm themselves with whatever firepower they can afford. Truly, the Progressives have turned themselves and this country into something vile and despicable, and it doesn’t help that talk of using nuclear and bio weapons have surfaced.”
I stood in the barren hallway, shocked, stunned at what I had just read. Was it true? Could America have fallen completely from its path of freedom and become evil? I looked around again, knowing that the depressing décor of the hospital did not bode well for what I might find outside. Oddly enough, as I slowly approached the source of the light, I began to think of movies I had seen in the past, the possibility that some science fiction, or horror director had hit the end of the world nail on the head. My first thought sent shivers into my spine as I imagined the zombies from Dawn of the Dead, their lifeless eyes, rotting skin, and endless hunger filled my thoughts. Then Mad Max entered, and so did the question, “Could the world outside be a nuclear wild west? Would raiders and murderers be lurking in the shadows?” Just stop. I told myself, this was only making me more paranoid and afraid. I took a deep breath that filled my lungs and exhaled completely. I closed my eyes, still pondering the possibilities of what awaited me, still afraid of what I might find. I grabbed the hand rail on the wall corner and guided myself around, instantly feeling the warmth of the early morning sunlight, the fresh brush of the wind, and most reassuring of all – the sounds of birds squawking and chirping in the air. As I stood there, eyes clamped shut, pulling in all the qualities of the world I was afraid to see, I hoped that I was wrong, that whatever city I was in was bustling with traffic zigzagging around buildings trying to get to work, dogs barking in the distance in someone’s back yard, people sitting on the side of the street begging for money. To tell the truth, I wanted to vomit, I wanted to cry and just fall asleep again, but I’d have to open my eyes sometime.
So, I did. I suddenly felt nauseated, my tongue went numb, I could feel my bowls scrambling to send the bile, but it suddenly halted as the tears and wailing overcame me. My first thought? I was alone, no one else existed, it was me and only me. I had no second thought, I simply started to remember my family, my friends, and anyone I could think of, and no matter what I told myself they were all dead to me in the end, and I was alone. I collapsed to the crumbling tile floor, on all four limbs still fighting the urge to puke, and once I felt well enough I leaned upon the small remains of the wall to my left and gazed teary eyed upon the city I wanted to believe was before me, and a ghostly ruin that hid behind my desire.
From what I guessed was the fourth story of the hospital, I could see the very edge of the city, the small buildings that lined its edge, some crumbling, others looked untouched. The hospital itself as seemingly torn in half, the half that was missing lay beneath and before me as a large, and extensive pile of rubble that must have covered three blocks. Some buildings still stood as tall as the remaining half of the hospital, but were clearly empty as offices and rooms filtered the morning light without interruption. The structures which had fallen were no more than rubble and debris, even bridges stood incomplete; there fallen sections mixing with the rest of the litter. The streets were littered with collapsed structures, rusting vehicles, and trash blown from remaining buildings.
I closed my eyes again, wishing that this were all a dream, and that soon someone would wake me and tell me how they were worried about me. I did not know what to think, I could only wish. What was I supposed to think, what was I supposed to do? What could I do? At this point, I just wanted to wake up, or die, and it seemed to me that the latter option was looking more favorable as my thoughts began to stagger and stray from logic. I started to wonder how I could go about ending it all, run away from what scared me more than death. I also began to recall my younger days, and the parents that had raised me, but could have never prepared me for this. I also thought of the friends I had hung out with, the people who had helped me, hurt me, or just left. I enjoyed the picture clear memories of my favorite books, movies, and music. I think I smiled as I pictured all these things, but I could not be sure as tears still stained my numb face, and I was oblivious to everything. After all, I would end it shortly.
Years before, I would have assumed I would stand strong against the world, such as a movie hero would have. I would have pushed forward relentlessly, searching for someone else, and I would have never given up. Unfortunately, life is not as simple as a movie, I told myself, still enjoying the memories before I let go, but before I could continue, a soft humming sound filled my ears from an unknown distance. I slowly opened my eyes, looking for any movement. When my eyes were met with only the same destroyed city, I looked to the sky. It sounded similar to a helicopter in flight, but somehow different, and with no idea how, my previous thoughts of suicide were temporarily put aside. I carefully stood as my legs continued to wobble, and then equally as careful, stepped from the ledge I was upon and onto the rubble below, and then returned my curious gaze toward the sky. A triangular vessel rose over the horizon of buildings and rubble and rushed toward me. The humming sound grew louder, to an almost unbearable point, causing me to clasp my ears with my hands. The ship lowered upon the street near the base of the rubble I was upon, at least twenty, or so feet away. I looked curiously at the strange ship. It was triangular in shape, similar to the build of a fighter jet, but instead of wings, it boasted to large engines at its base which seemingly propelled it.
A sudden metal striking metal noise struck my ears as a large metal doorway opened from the back side of the vessel. I remained motionless, unsure of what to do. A sudden scream from behind me caused shocked me and caused me to swiftly turn around. A woman and a man in raggedy clothing stood at the corner of a building near the rubble, opposite the vessel, waving for me to come to them. I turned back again toward the ship in time to see four armored, masked soldiers appear from its innards, wielding what seemed to be assault rifles. Three more followed and they began to scale the rubble toward me, faster than I anticipated. What would have taken me minutes to climb was only seconds to them as they leaped from rock to rock. At the same time, the two raggedy people began to climb, albeit a much slower pace. The first soldier quickly approached me and stopped only feet away. A mechanical, robotic like voice echoed from the mask. “Come with us kid, we’re here to pick you up.” Not a moment after, the exhausted ragged man yelled towards me. “Don’t listen to it! They’ll kill you!” I turned my head back to the soldier and his approaching allies. “Who are you?” I struggled to say as my voice quivered.
He was motionless, and emotionless as stared me down with the mask’s glass eye holes. “I’m a soldier of the Global Government kid, and I’m here to help. So, let’s go, now.” Once again I struggled to speak. I could feel the hair on my neck stand on end, and fear swelled within me. “What about them?” I pointed to the ragged pair. He did not bother looking, and simply pointed toward the two ragged people slowly climbing the rubble. I screamed in surprise and horror as the man and woman were brutally torn apart by bullets from a soldier near the vessel, his aim precise and deadly. “They are no concern of yours, kid. Now come with me. This is the last time I’ll ask.” My fear swelled to massive proportions, causing my limbs to shake uncontrollably, and the familiar feeling of nausea set in. He suddenly looked me up and down, decided that I was no threat and grabbed my arms with an iron grim and hoisted me over his right shoulder. “Put me down!” I screamed. I kicked my legs as hard as I could, but the soldier never faltered and he simply walked back to the ship.
A quick barrage of gunfire from the area where the ragged couple had been caused his step to halt abruptly, giving me the feeling he was going to fall over. I could see four more people appear from an alley way at the base of the rubble and unleash their own bullets upon the soldiers. I felt the soldier’s grip upon me loosen and I struggled with all that I had left, the last moment adrenaline filling my blood. I was able to slip from his hold and fell upon my head and onto the rubble. I quickly stood only to meet the barrel of the assault rifle the soldier had been carrying. “Move to the jet now, or I shoot you, kid. My boss wants you dead, or alive. I’ve tried to keep you alive, but you’re making this difficult.” That same, emotionless, cold, mask stared at me as the weapon he held threatened death.
The soldier turned his head for a moment, saw the attackers drawing closer, and then returned to me. “I’ll count to three, and if you aren’t moving, you can meet my boss in a body bag, kid.” Although I was scared beyond belief, I was growing tired of being labeled as kid by the soldier. “Three.” I searched for anything, any sign of a way out. Nothing. “Two.” The attackers would not reach me in time, especially considering they were stuck in a fire fight with the others. “One.” I could imagine his finger pulling the trigger, I through my arms in front of me, and closed my eyes. I was strangely at piece with my fate, my last breath was a lucky escape from this depressing, desolate world, and I was happy. And then I inhaled. My hearing suddenly returned and there was no shooting, not even from the soldier in front of me. I opened my eyes as the wind brushed across my face. The soldiers that had been sent to retrieve lie scattered across the ground floor, the ones who had not been shot struggled to get up. What just happened? I asked myself in confusion. “Hey! Come on!” The raggedy soldiers yelled waving for me to follow them into the alleyway.
I looked back toward the rising government soldiers, and decided the lesser of two evils was best for now. I cautiously ran down the rubble mountain, and then rushed into the alley where the raggedy soldiers lie in wait. I expected another threat, but was instead met with gaping mouths and wide eyes. A rough looking man got their attention with a stomp of his right foot, and he stepped toward me. “What’s your name?” He asked, his voice was deep and scratchy, probably an ex-smoker. “Johnathan.” I mumbled. “Okay, John, we have to get out of here before those Government dogs are on top of us.” He turned to the other three soldiers and told them to move forward, deeper into the alley. “Go in front of me, okay. Oh, and keep up.” I nodded in fear and obedience as I ran behind the three two men and one woman ahead. As I inhaled and exhaled repetitiously, I turned my head toward the man behind me. “I’ll answer questions in a minute, but first we need to get away.” He said, obviously knowing my intention, so I returned my head forward. After a few moments sprint through the expansive, trash filled, alley, we reached an opening where an armored jeep sat parked and ready to move, its exhaust pipe vibrating and venting smoke. “Get in by the woman.” He ordered as the woman in front hopped into the back seat.
I followed her and sat as commanded, but when I reached for a seatbelt, there was none. The entire jeep had been remodeled in order to hold some form of weaponry, such as the seatbelt slot holding large amounts of thumb sized bullets. There was no telling how deep the cache went. As I pulled the door shut, the man who’d been behind me hopped into the driver’s seat and slammed the gas peddle, sounding as if someone had been slapped. The jeep sped forward into a maze of collapsed buildings, zigzagging along the path, dodging fallen debris, and taking shortcuts that involved the jeep slamming into walls and other objects. The woman beside me nudged me on the shoulder and smiled. She was quite beautiful for a woman in what I had believed to be the end of the world. She was a brunette, her hair in a pony tail, her eyes were a sage green, and her lips were glossed with a pink lipstick. She almost seemed fit for a date. “It’s okay, he knows what he’s doing.” She assured as she glanced toward the driver. “Besides, with you along for the ride, we’re invincible.” What does she mean by that? I thought as she continued to smile charmingly. She clearly saw the confusion on my face as she spoke, “You mean you don’t know?” I shook my head, and then pressed against the door as the jeep slid left around a corner. “So you don’t know what happened to those government dogs back there?” Once again I shook my head, and involuntarily leaned into her as the jeep swung right. “Didn’t you guys shoot them?” I asked as I looked from her to the others who stared back with wide eyes. “You did it.” She stated matter of fact.
alexoblivion
alexoblivion
W.T.F!?
W.T.F!?

Male Number of posts : 149
Age : 34
Location : Grand Bay
Humor : Laugh dammit!
Registration date : 2008-12-25

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Post by Wolf named Koga Mon Mar 22, 2010 7:09 am

Well besides the obvious flaws of which I shall discuss with you later, not bad. I highly recommend changing Progressive to a new kinda political system/party. Also, come up with a fancy name for your Global Government.
Wolf named Koga
Wolf named Koga
Keeper of Rules & Wolves
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